How to raise confident Children and fearless Leaders


Should parents give their children enough space to think anything in life is possible, it can be uphill struggle for the child to believe in their own potential. In today's world everything is so scary and unpredictable no one knows what is coming next. So, how will children cope up with this all, where will they learn, how to handle fear and failure. We can say schools or colleges, but I say the only place they can actually learn to be confident is from their parents, they need walk the talk.

Child Development
Leadership d'quipe multifonctionnelle
Lead Generation
Leadership Mentoring
Child Psychiatry
Child development, Adolescent development, Working with families and parents
Masarrat A Shah
13 months ago

5 answers


In modern society , children are mostly around smartphones and tablets. This can never lead to leadership. First thing - don't give them gadgets to play. They should play on grounds. Sports teach a lot of things. Sports teach - team spirit, confidence and leadership.
Also, let them fail. Let them realize that failure is the part of life and work hard to not to repeat failure.
The problem is - parents know all that I mentioned above but they don't follow it with honesty.

Hitesh Mathpal
13 months ago
I agree with your comments. I would add teach them music. Music is one of the only endeavors where you practice everyday and can clearly see results. It is a path toward mastery that transfers well to other areas of life. - Anthony 13 months ago
Hitesh, why parents don't follow is because of stupid society pressure, they want their children to be at par with others around them, they want to brag about their scores and achievements, and this is creating unnessary stress and pressure on these kids, so yea they grow up depressed and loosers. We need to change it, - Masarrat A 13 months ago
Being a techer I see this quite a lot - children learn from their adults. If you are always stuck with your phone or computer, what else you expect from your kid. Parents need decipline in order to have the same in their kids. - Maya 13 months ago
Agree with Maya.. yes, descipline of parents is must. - Masarrat A 13 months ago

Masarrat A Shah In my extended family I see children being badly spoilt. You want the latest iPhone? New nike trainers? What colour? They reach their final years of education and have never had to support themselves. This breeds the confidence that 'if something goes wrong, my parents will sort it out' and not 'how do I do this for myself?'

Tough love, every time, for me.

David Cottrell
13 months ago
So who is responsible for this attitude which children are building of having everything what their friends have, its all upto parents how they teach them and make them aware about difference between right and wrong. My parents never taught me to compare myself with others and they always mentioned hardwork, resepct and discipline is priority and rest follows. - Masarrat A 13 months ago

I think the question itself needs some tweaking. Focus on courageous leaders rather than fearless. Fearless = unrealistic expectation that can damage confidence. Healthy fear is a survival tool and useful. Paralytic fear is a problem. A big problem in society right now is distorted assessment of one's self efficacy in both extremes. So yes we have people who don't feel they can do anything and underestimate their abilities (moderate problem). The bigger problem is a lot of people (mostly younger people) have an exaggerated sense of their abilities which makes them a little dangerous and if they encounter an epic fail can cause them great psychological damage and total loss of confidence. What I think is best is to instill in children a "growth mindset" and allow them to follow their passions and interests with a sense of taking on challenges. This happens young (in the home) and throughout life (in school and work).

Here are some thoughts about factors:

  • Don't tell kids they can do anything because they can't. They can try anything and that is good. The experience becomes data for self knowledge and begins mapping a course.
  • Eliminate participation trophies
  • Allow more discovery in learning new things and reduce emphasis on prescriptive rote behavior
  • Play sports or games where kids get a chance to learn how to lose. And losing should be seen in proper light. It is not a total failure, it is simply feedback on a skill level and preparedness. Encourage them to congratulate and respect the winner.
  • Don't tell kids what and why they can't do. Facilitate discovery and let them find out about their strengths and weaknesses as well as interests.
  • Encourage delayed gratification in all endeavors
  • Encourage more unstructured time, play and learning. Life has become too structured and compartmentalized. This does not prepare people for living in a world with so many unknowns. To the growth mindset individual the unpredictability of the future is an opportunity.

To summarize there are many forces at work here -- parenting, society, education and dare I say technology. Technology has delivered a false promise of everything one needs is available all the time. There is no one answer to the question posed because the question is too broad for one. Good question!

Anthony Jaccarino
13 months ago
I agree with your points Anthony, you pointed out rightly various areas where sociey and parents and teachers need to focus on. Why I brought up this topic is we need to look into our homes our kids and see whhat they feel about this world, technology and new innovations, how they see their future, rather than just talking about others and what they do. - Masarrat A 13 months ago

The question is the answer
“How to Raise Children “
All children want and need nurturing.
The wise parent encourages their child
to crawl up hills and finally climb to the mountains top on their own.
Watching all the time as an conscious observer to witness success.
Always waiting for an opportunity to catch their child getting it right and being there to encourage their child to get up again and again and to never give up .
When a parent becomes disappointed or angry due the mistake or bad choices their child will undoubtedly make remember the golden opportunity for a life lesson is at hand.
Use these valued moments to root proper behavior in their child by sharing the example of the right answer.
Parents are the foundation their children will
stand upon to see clearly the path ahead.

michael ray graves
13 months ago
Michael, here is your answer, parents needs to understand walk the talk. If they are guiding or teaching their kids on certain things, we have to see do they themselves beleive in that. Just words will not help because kids are smart, samrter than we think. - Masarrat A 13 months ago
Then it is a community responsibility to raise the parent to raise the child - michael ray 13 months ago
Parents have to be responsible and disciplined in order to expect same from their child. They cannot just say something and walk aways and think child will obey. - Masarrat A 13 months ago

Kids learn from parents. So be decipline and do the things that you expect from your kids. They follow you. Parents are superhero / heroiens for their kids - but if their superhero likes smartphone - kids do the same :)

Maya Kharkwal MA, BEd
13 months ago
Maya, what I say is walk th talk, if you want kids to respect you and follow you, be that example. Create such examples which they will follow. I think we are in an era where we need to have classes for parents too. - Masarrat A 13 months ago

Have some input?